Leadership Development Series – Seductive Operational Bully Type – Asrar Qureshi’s Blog Post #1143

Leadership Development Series – Seductive Operational Bully Type – Asrar Qureshi’s Blog Post #1143

Dear Colleagues! This is Asrar Qureshi’s Blog Post #1143 for Pharma Veterans. Pharma Veterans Blogs are published by Asrar Qureshi on its dedicated site https://pharmaveterans.com. Please email to pharmaveterans2017@gmail.com  for publishing your contributions here.

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Preamble

I am a regular reader of ‘Knowledge’ – the newsletter by INSEAD. There are great articles on various topics by various authors, however, I have become a big fan of Mr. Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries, the Distinguished Clinical Professor of Leadership Development & Organizational Change at INSEAD and the Raoul de Vitry d’Avaucourt Chaired Professor of Leadership Development, Emeritus. His articles are incisive and sharp-witted and opens new dimensions of thinking. This post is based on insights from his latest article.  

We’ve all heard of the high-performing but difficult boss, someone who wins praise for results, yet instills fear, confusion, and chaos in their team. According to INSEAD’s Manfred Kets de Vries, this archetype is known as the Seductive Operational Bully (SOB)—a leader whose charisma hides a damaging mix of narcissism, manipulation, and insecurity. [Acronym SOB stands for few other names also]. 

Understanding SOB traits—and knowing how to respond—can be game-changing for individuals and organizations alike. Here’s how to recognize SOB behavior, why it's so destructive, and what you can do about it.

Profile of SOB

Do you consider yourself a competitive leader? A risk-taker? A cool operator under pressure? Able to take tough decisions such as laying off people without batting an eye? Does your company applaud you for this behavior and are you proud of all this?

“Many of the qualities that indicate mental problems in other contexts may appear appropriate in senior executive positions,” Kets de Vries continues. “Especially in organizations that appreciate impression management, corporate gamesmanship, risk-taking, coolness under pressure, domination, competitiveness, and assertiveness.”

Another earmark of the SOB is his lack of conscience, says Kets de Vries. “Outwardly normal, apparently successful and charming, his lack of empathy or shame or guilt or remorse has serious repercussions on interpersonal relationships and, if left unchecked, can destroy organizations.” Absent are a sense of loyalty to colleagues and workplace, while deceitful, sometimes fraudulent behavior can cause long-term damage. One telltale sign of an unchecked SOB in your organization is a steady or mass exodus of talented people.

These SOBs can be found wherever power, status, or money is at stake. Outwardly normal, apparently successful and charming, their inner lack of empathy, shame, guilt, or remorse, can have serious interpersonal repercussions, and can destroy organizations. Their chameleon-like qualities mean they often reach top executive positions, especially in organizations that appreciate impression management, corporate gamesmanship, risk-taking, domination, competitiveness, and assertiveness. Unfortunately, however, SOBs have no loyalty to their colleagues or their organization.

What Makes the Seductive Operational Bully So Dangerous?

Charm Meets Aggression

On the surface, SOBs radiate confidence, decisiveness, and charisma. They often captivate senior leaders with boldness and vision. But behind the veneer? A ruthless tendency to control, manipulate, and undermine.

“Kiss Up, Kick Down” Dynamic

These leaders are masters at flattering powerful superiors while intimidating subordinates. Their victims live in constant fear and uncertainty—never sure what to expect next.

Narcissism and Lack of Empathy

SOBs equate leadership with ego, not empathy. They struggle to connect genuinely with others, leading with control, not care. Their need for status often masks deep insecurity and emptiness.

Manipulation and Information Control

SOBs thrive in ambiguity. They withhold or distort information to keep others off-balance and dependent. Their aggressive ambiguity paralyzes decision-making.

Erosion of Cultural Trust

Their behavior isn’t just a “bad apple”—it’s a cultural problem. Through building paranoia and fear, they erode psychological safety, creativity, and productivity across entire teams and departments.

The Toll: Why SOB Bosses Drag Down Organizations

Talent Exodus: High performers quit rather than endure toxic leadership. SOBs often leave a trail of regretful exits.

Operational Chaos: Ambiguity, redundant tasks, and blame games become the norm. Teams don’t communicate—only survive.

Psychological Toll: Employees under SOBs often experience heightened stress, burnout, anxiety, and diminished self-worth.

Culture of Silence: Fear silences dissent. When good people hesitate to speak up, decisions degrade, and truth becomes rare.

Recognizing the SOB: Are You Working for One?

Here are some telling signs:

Charisma that feels performative -- they flatter superiors and ignore or demean teams. 

Inconsistent behavior -- supportive one day, humiliating the next.

Frequent ambiguity -- decisions without logic or transparency.

Division by design -- pitting team members against each other.

Token praise, real criticism -- manipulative recognition that masks control.

What You Can Do: From Self-Protection to Change-Making

1. Recognize the Pattern and Remove Shame

The first step is understanding: you're not less competent, you’re being manipulated. Bullies attack your sense of worth to cover their own insecurities.

2. Ground Yourself – Emotional Self-Regulation

Pause in their provocative moments. Breathe, name your emotion, and avoid reacting defensively. Awareness breaks their cycle of control.

3. Build a Support Network

Talk to trusted colleagues, friends, or a coach. When you verbalize the pattern, your reality becomes clearer—and the bully’s illusion less powerful.

4. Document Specific Behaviors

Keep a record; dates, exact remarks, impact. Concrete evidence helps if you need to escalate or defend yourself.

5. Seek Professional Counsel

External therapy or coaching helps you make sense of your experience, strengthen resilience, and consider strategic options.

6. Avoid Mediation -- It Often Backfires

Mediation gives SOBs opportunity to manipulate deeper. Instead, pursue formal HR procedures or seek structural interventions. 

7. Influencing Upward -- Create Safe Reporting Paths

If the problem is cultural, allies at higher levels may not even see it. Trusted senior managers or HR can be effective allies when approached with thoughtful documentation.

8. Prepare an Exit

Sometimes, change isn’t possible. Prioritize your well-being. Start building your escape plan with another team or organization.

A Call to Organizations: Don’t Reward the SOB

Hire with psychological safety in mind: Don’t confuse charisma with leadership. Implement robust anti-bullying policies, with real enforcement and awareness training.

 Support culture audits, exits, engagement scores, and reports of incivility should trigger investigation.

 Reward leaders who enable, not intimidate; measure impact, not just outcomes.

Sum Up

[Quote] In recent years, leadership styles have come under intense scrutiny, especially in the political arena. Nowhere has this been more visible than in the rise and presidency of Donald J. Trump. A mogul, messiah to some, merchandising juggernaut, and, in a surprising plot twist, also the 45th President of the United States, Trump brought to office a background steeped more in branding and entertainment than in public service. His approach to leadership — loud, brash, and relentlessly self-promoting — redefined how one can dominate headlines and institutions through sheer force of personality.

Trump’s instinct for exploiting emotional vulnerabilities and crafting media spectacle allowed him to command public attention like few others. His tenure offers a case study of a very particular kind of leadership: that of the Seductive Operational Bully, or SOB. These are not just garden-variety bad bosses; they are a breed apart — part showman, part autocrat, and often wholly indifferent to the emotional or institutional damage they cause. [Unquote]

The Seductive Operational Bully wears a deceptive mask: charming, bold, results-oriented, but hollow underneath. They can charm up and bulldoze down, leaving a trail of anxiety, chaos, and broken trust. Awareness is your first defense. Protect yourself by recognizing the pattern, grounding your emotional response, and seeking allies. Organizations can’t afford to ignore SOB behavior; it destroys culture, damages performance, and wastes talent.

Because no leader, no matter how charismatic, should lead by fear.

Concluded.

Disclaimers: Pictures in these blogs are taken from free resources at Pexels, Pixabay, Unsplash, and Google. Credit is given where available. If a copyright claim is lodged, we shall remove the picture with appropriate regrets.

For most blogs, I research from several sources which are open to public. Their links are mentioned under references. There is no intent to infringe upon anyone’s copyrights. If, any claim is lodged, it will be acknowledged and recognized duly.

Reference:

https://knowledge.insead.edu/career/your-boss-seductive-operational-bully 

https://www.forbes.com/sites/shelliekarabell/2015/01/30/how-to-spot-the-sob-seductive-operational-bully-in-your-company/ 

https://medium.com/@manfred.ketsdevries_62226/are-you-working-for-a-bully-in-chief-567ee50276ab