Executive Coach and Coachee Interface – Asrar Qureshi’s Blog Post #1129

Executive Coach and Coachee Interface – Asrar Qureshi’s Blog Post #1129

Dear Colleagues! This is Asrar Qureshi’s Blog Post #1129 for Pharma Veterans. Pharma Veterans Blogs are published by Asrar Qureshi on its dedicated site https://pharmaveterans.com. Please email to pharmaveterans2017@gmail.com  for publishing your contributions here.

Credit: cottonbro studio

Credit: Jorge Urosa

Preamble

In the developed world, executive coaching is a cornerstone of leadership development. For many senior executives, having a coach is now as routine as having a mentor—but just having a coach on retainer doesn’t guarantee personal growth or meaningful transformation. The real challenge lies in how both the leader (coachee) and the coach engage to make the relationship impactful. Too often, coaching relationships falter—not because coaching doesn’t work, but because one or both parties fail to invest fully in the process.

Drawing on insights from INSEAD experts Derek Deasy and Enoch Li (link at the end), this post explores how to maximize the value of executive coaching through intent, openness, and shared accountability.

Coaching Is a Partnership, not a Prescription

Coaching Is Emotional & Intellectual Support

Coaching isn’t about the coach solving your problems—it’s about them holding a powered space for you to think differently. Coaches use intention, attention, and carefully crafted questions to help you notice blind spots, assumptions, and hidden opportunities.

Beware the “Magic Wand” Expectation

A common coaching myth is that the coach will “lead” the conversation or hand you ready-made solutions. In reality, both parties must actively invest in the relationship. If you’re only in coaching because your manager suggested it—or you lack the inner motivation—it’s unlikely, you’ll gain much from it. Commitment from the coachee is critical.

The Coachee: Clarity, Willingness & Motivation

Before beginning, be crystal clear about your goals and expectations. What are the behaviors you want to change? What results are you aiming for? Do you have the resources, support, and genuine desire to pursue these changes? Leaders who set vague goals like “be a better leader” rarely get beyond surface wins.

If you’re in coaching just to tick a box, or because participation was mandatory, you’re unlikely to internalize or act on learnings. Sustainable change happens only when you’re truly invested and feel personally accountable.

Self-awareness isn’t enough. You also need to understand your patterns in relation to others—and how both you and your relationships are shaped by the broader context. Whether it’s team culture, industry norms, or organizational politics, leadership decisions are always embedded in context.

Attunement: The Heart of the Coaching Relationship

“Attunement” is a term from the INSEAD article that refers to the ongoing process of building mutual understanding between coach and coachee. It has two dimensions:

Attunement for the Coachee

Ask yourself: 

Is this coaching achieving what I hoped it would?

What do I need more of? Reflection, accountability, direct feedback?

 Are we tracking progress in a way that aligns with my developmental goals?

If the relationship isn’t aligned, bring it up. You want a coach who can calibrate the pace, depth, and style based on your evolving needs.

Attunement for the Coach

A coach should ask informed, constructive questions such as:

What about my approach? Is it helping you the way you wanted?

What would you prefer more or less of?

How can I better support your goals?

This isn’t about ego or validation—it’s about surfacing misalignment early so the partnership remains effective.

Choosing the Right Coach: Chemistry Matters

It’s often said in coaching circles: Don’t settle on the first coach you meet. Of course, it does not apply here where coaching is still not recognized.

Where applicable, you may engage with more than one coach to gauge compatibility. Understanding each coach’s style and depth of challenge helps you find someone who:

Holds you to your growth agenda,

Pushes you out of your comfort zone,

Doesn’t just make you “feel good.”

Coaching Takes Time -- and Honest Effort

Coaching does not bring overnight results. It is an interval sport, not a sprint. It unfolds through cycles of questioning, experimenting, reflecting, and iterating.

Bring curiosity, honesty and courage to coaching arrangement. Leadership growth requires vulnerability. You must ask uncomfortable questions, take risks to try new behaviors, and reflect on what didn’t work. Great coaches help you stick with this discomfort—but you must bring the authenticity.

Success in coaching isn’t just about shifting overt behaviors—it’s about changing your mental models—how you see yourself, your team, and your environment.

INSEAD article identifies three domains of learning:

1. Self-awareness: Understanding your triggers, emotions, and patterns.

2. Relationships: How you connect with, influence, or interpret others.

3. Context: How culture, systems, and environment shape both self and relationships.

When you integrate these three lenses, your leadership becomes more coherent, adaptable, and aligned with real-world demands.

Accountability in Coaching

Agreement from the Start -- At the outset, agree with your coach on what success looks like, what markers or milestones you’ll track, and when and how you’ll evaluate.

Regularly review whether the sessions are moving you forward, or whether something needs to be adjusted.

At the end of the coaching partnership (or periodically), assess what has changed, was the coaching relationship well attuned, and did you meet the developmental goals?

If the relationship didn’t work, don’t just blame the coach quickly. Instead, ask yourself what you brought—or didn’t bring—to the partnership.

Sum Up

Getting an executive coach is just the start. The quality of your coaching relationship and the honest investment you both bring define its impact. Coaching works when you do the heavy lifting, by clarifying your aims, staying curious, asking questions, acting on insights. At the same time, the coach’s role is to hold a reflective mirror, challenge assumptions, and keep the process sharp through active attunement.

If you approach your coaching not as a formality but as a genuine development partnership—driven by curiosity, courage, and accountability—you can move from superficial change to transformational growth.

Concluded.

Disclaimers: Pictures in these blogs are taken from free resources at Pexels, Pixabay, Unsplash, and Google. Credit is given where available. If a copyright claim is lodged, we shall remove the picture with appropriate regrets.

For most blogs, I research from several sources which are open to public. Their links are mentioned under references. There is no intent to infringe upon anyone’s copyrights. If, any claim is lodged, it will be acknowledged and recognized duly. 

Reference:

https://knowledge.insead.edu/career/so-you-have-coach-now-what